Intoxicated with doses of caffeine on a
lazy Sunday morning, I sat on my bed holding in my hands the morning newspaper,
my eyes soon falling on something that almost got me chuckling, though,
silently. I had just come across a series of memorial ads. With due respect to
all those who have departed for their heavenly abode, I want to ask their
relatives what inspires them to write a memorial for their lost ones… and get
it published in the newspaper?! I turned to several people with a hope to gain
some understanding of this prodigy.
Some said it is a way ‘certain’ people
express their grief, others revealed it helps them feel together with their
distant relatives & friends on a sad, mournful day and there were still
others who felt this is a way to show regards to the dear ones who have gone.
Alright! All you people, could you please explain me how exhibiting such
personal feelings might assuage your grief?
To me it’s rather hilarious! In fact, I
find myself easily slipping into the series of conversation that might have
happened to give shape to a remembrance ad in the newspaper! Suppose there’s a
family who wants to run a memorial ad for the grandfather who passed away 10 years ago.
Now, read the following:
Mother: Sonu, we got to get Grandpa’s memorial
run on Wednesday
Sonu: Alright Mom, don’t worry it’s just
Sunday today and I have spoken to the agency already. We have yet another day
to submit the ad
Mother: Okay. Could we ask Nancy to write
it for us? She writes well.
Sonu: Relax Mom, there are a lot of
examples on the web; it’s just a matter of selecting the best one.
Mother: Ok! That sounds good but do it on
priority else the agency might reject it.
Sonu: Yes, Yes.
Sonu (On Wednesday): Hey Mom, did you check
the ad?
Mother: Yes, Sonu! It’s great! Nice write up…well done, my child!
Ahhh, I kept searching the grief & pain
which should, ostensibly, have triggered this conversation!
Well, that’s not all…I accidentally also
came across a question on ‘Yahoo answers’ and it read:
“I’m trying to find words to write in a
memorial ad for my grandmother who passed away on Feb. 26, 1994. I need some
good suggestions and things ASAP because I have to have it in tomorrow for it
to run on the 26th. I've tried to come up with some stuff. But I would really
like some more tips.”
Huh! Now that’s rib tickling again! Who
seeks an outsider’s help for a creation that has its essence only when it comes
straight from the heart – raw, unedited?!
I again ask people if they still think that
this business of memorial ads runs because there are some people who choose to express
their sorrows and regards through this medium?! Certainly not! It runs instead
because there’s a section of people who have chosen this medium to serve their
emotional or egotistical purposes.
This is quite like the Facebook behavior of
people which often annoys us to our limits. Most of the statuses we read on
Facebook are attempts towards ‘Image Crafting’ often motivated by narcissism. The
author wants to affect the way people perceive her. Look at this, “My heart
goes out to all those who suffered so hugely in the tragedy without any mistake
of theirs”! Here, the author wants people to think of her as an empathic person
extremely sensitive to human sufferings. And this is exactly the purpose these
memorial ads serve!
A person getting such an ad published needs
the public to think of him as a person who is closely bonded with his family
which is most important to him, who values human life and is still distressed
by the loss he had several years ago and his heart always goes out for his
people. This is also evident by the fact that most of such ads are run by
people who have some degree of popularity in society, e.g. business men,
industrialists, renowned doctors and the like for whom their public image might
mean a lot.
If, however, they really intend to express
their feelings, they must choose a group of people who care for them and whom
they can easily contact through texts and email rather than exhibiting to the
whole city that doesn’t even give a damn to it!
It gives me deep pain to witness the
eroding values, growing hollowness and rising materialism among Indians. And on
that note, I would urge Indians to consider organizing pooja, feeding the
hungry, sponsoring children and donating to the needy in the name of those who
you want to pay regards to and myriads of other alternatives that will attune their
paths to the God’s.
